I Dream of Jeannie

Locked in a game of dueling genie blinks with his mom (with a nod to a 1960's sitcom), Emmett drops a bombshell that, perhaps for the first time ever, suggests a link between Barbara Eden and Islam. Like Cat Stevens, but not really.

Nuclear fallout in Emmett's world

With the recent hit to the reputation of nuclear energy, Emmett makes a personal investment in conventional oil... by attempting to steal a tricone rock bit from outside his neighbour's door.

Yes, it happens. In oil country, sometimes people leave drill bits outside their front door. And yes, it's now confirmed: a tricone rock bit outweighs Emmett by a factor of approximately 2:1.

Beyond the acceptable limit of toddler affection

Emmett's mom applies a mild deterrent to Emmett's kissyface behaviour (for which, incidentally, his dad is also a victim), but her efforts are met with little to no success.

While a rather distasteful habit, it could be worse. Hey, at least he's not dealing smack.

Mormonization interrupted

Amid wind warnings, higher powers forestall Emmett's introduction to the world of latter day sainthood by placing, on the front step of the Waterton Mormon church, an eight-foot snowdrift.

LDS: out. Rastafarianism: still a possibility.