Long haired freaky people need not apply

After having his hair compared to that of a child from an orphanage in Victorian England, Emmett's parents reluctantly agree that it's time to get the rat's nest cleaned up a bit.

Safely bungee'd into his rack-and-pinion stylist chair, all progresses well. For, like, five seconds.

Shortly thereafter, however, Emmett emerges in one piece, stylie 'do and all.

While his mom is currently undergoing treatment for post-traumatic stress, his dad is overjoyed that Emmett now looks old enough to be put to work at the local sweat shop.